How To Support Your Partner After Pregnancy Loss

There’s no other way to say it — pregnancy loss is incredibly difficult. When pregnancy loss occurs, it can leave people feeling lost and unsure of how to help their partner. Your partner may be experiencing a range of emotions — from anger to emptiness, as well as physical symptoms such as bleeding, abdominal pain, and pregnancy symptoms.

Everyone handles this type of loss differently, and it’s important to keep in mind that there is no one right way to grieve. But if you find yourself in this unfortunate scenario, we have some suggestions on what you could do to offer support.

5 Ways to Support Your Partner

1. Listen.

While you may not understand what your partner is going through, avoid trying to “fix” them. Your partner may feel lost or unsure of how to move forward after this loss. Listen to what your partner tells you without offering advice— no matter how well-intentioned that advice may be, it may not be welcome at this time.

Remember that when someone is grieving, they may not want to be surrounded by family and friends. Some people prefer more time alone. Be available for your partner and follow their lead.

2. Offer help.

Don’t be afraid to ask what you can do for them right now; maybe they’re up for an activity to keep them busy — like doing chores or cooking dinner together. Or perhaps they want to cuddle up on the couch.

If they prefer to be alone, offer to go grocery shopping or tackle other household chores to minimize to-do lists.

3. Don’t rush the healing process.

Both you and your partner are likely to experience the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Do know that each stage may take each of you different lengths of time, and you may not follow the same sequence.

A few good days could then be met with some bad days — this is normal and natural. Give yourselves some grace.

4. Don’t forget your own grief.

Remember, this loss happened to you as well. And while it may seem like you should push your feelings aside in order to support your partner, it’s still important to address your needs as well.

Communicate with your partner or talk to a third party and take care of yourself.

5. Consider outside help.

Sometimes, outside support — via a support group or counselor — may be helpful for you or your partner. Everyone’s journey is different, but help is available to you whenever you may need it.

Pregnancy loss is a difficult and traumatic experience, and the road ahead may sometimes feel unclear or unmapped. There is no right way to best support your partner but over time, you may both find some peace. If you’re interested in attending one of our support groups (free for patients), please register online or contact your patient care coordinator for a referral to an ACRM trusted source.